Sweetly Broken, Wholly Surrendered

      I can’t believe that on Monday, it’s been a year since I left for North Myrtle Beach Summer Project.  Honestly, this year seemed like a blur.  I can’t believe that I left everything that was familiar, and went with three other people who I’ve never really met before.  A plethora of emotions were going through my head during then, ranging from jubilation, to total udder nervousness.  

      For those who know me, I am one of the biggest introverts ever.  I crave being by myself and the thought of riding and sleeping with people who I have never have known is somewhat terrifying to me.  However, I had a blast driving down to the destination with Geoff, Josh, and Katie.  There were so many things that we talked about from calories in a McDonalds meal to  playing a game to point out cars that are colored orange or yellow.  There were some funny moments, from using my camera to take pictures of funny poses to stopping at some pretty sketchy places, including an Illinois Oasis at 3 AM.

     While the car ride down was a journey to a destination, the destination was a journey in of itself.  I learned a lot of growing in Leadership and in my personal faith-walk.  Coming back to campus, I was ready to help, and even though I didn’t lead a Life Group on my campus, I could still use my skills to create events that were not only fun, but could also be a link to the Gospel.  However, I felt a need to share my faith more.  This is something that I would like to improve on next year, especially moving off campus.  Another thing that I would like to improve on is to help send people to Summer Projects, not just for North Myrtle Beach, but to any Project.  I am open to go on another Summer Project next year, whether it may be stateside or international.  I want to go, and I want to bring others with me. 

     It’s been a while since I posted something on Tumblr and finding time (and thinking of a suitable topic to post) has been an issue for me.  Needless to say this semester has been crazy and in some ways crazy isn’t a great feeling.  Taking 15 credits and trying to get into the Social Work (SW) program has burnt me out over the last ten weeks.  It also made me think whether Social Work would be a suitable career choice for me.  I realized that some of the things I am doing right now would show up had I continued (I will address the “had” later).  I did not think I would be a bad social worker, just an inexperienced one.  I have no outside experience to add to my life story.  Also, if I am already burnt out with the classes, imagine me in the field.  I would be a wreck!

     Over a month or so (give or take a week), I have seriously considered changing my major from SW to Community Psychology (CPSY).  The reasons behind them really backed it up for me.  First of all, I have done better academically with my CPSY classes than my SW classes; also, I tend to enjoy my CPSY classes more.  Also, it is already my minor, so if I changed my major, I would just need to take a Statistics class and two other CPSY classes to get caught up.  Finally, Psychology is really interesting to me, especially picking someone’s brain to learn what is potentially wrong with them.

     So I did what I have usually do when I make a decision of this magnitude, I prayed about it, and I decided that unless St. Cloud State Career Services said otherwise, I would change my major.  I talked to Career Services about whether the decision would be wise or not, and they said that would work, so next semester will be my first semester as a CPSY major.  I am excited to see where this takes me and I hope I can continue to do well in my major classes as I start heading towards graduation.

     I should not be anxious on what I want to do with my future, it is God’s, not mine.  He knows me better than I know myself.  I may even do something completely different to what my diploma will say when I leave here.  I have no idea what I am going to do once I graduate, but I know that with my future in God’s hands, I should be good.

This was my third time at TCX and it was awesome!  I learned a lot about God’s character, as well as many ways to change my ways.  This is what I learned over the last four days.

I arrived at the Hilton on Wednesday and once I settled in, I immediately went finding people from Project, and I went on an adventure to Target with some of them.  Getting food for this week.  That night, we had a chance to hear from Tom Henderson, someone who, to be totally honest, I didn’t know about.  But he talked about our brokenness and what it’s like to be Fused (The theme for this year’s TCX).  After some campus time, I played a TCX mainstay: Ninja.  While I didn’t win any games, I had fun anyways.

Thursday, Crawford Lorrits spoke for both sessions.  Crawford was one of the main reasons I came back.  He speaks so well and is passionate on what he speaks on.  In the morning session he talked about abiding in Christ, as mentioned in John 15.  It was an interesting talk.  Basically the main thing that I took away was that I let Christ abide in me when I came to know Christ almost 8 years ago, but I need to abide in Christ, and live fully and become a light in the spiritual darkness of the world.  In the night session, Crawford talked about the character of Jesus.  He said that Jesus not only had a impact with his three year ministry on Earth, but made an impact even before He was born.  Seminars were also offered today.  I decided to go to the seminar “Our Father in Heaven”.  It was about prayer and how we should be fervent and enthusiastic in how we pray, not something that we feel we have to do.

Friday was our day of outreach so we went out to the inner city delivering food boxes to people as well as to share the Gospel of Christ.  Also getting equipped at the Morning session.  We got the chance to hear from Candice Siewert.  She does a lot for the international partnerships for the Upper Midwest region (East Asia, Australia, 4th Journey, France, Ghana and Uruguay).  She talked about the Parable of the Sower, something I learned about on Project.  She talked about the different types of people, related it to our day of outreach, and talked about her hilarious experience on the farm.  It was what I needed to go out this afternoon.  It was my first day of outreach since Project and while I was nervous, I was excited as well.  That night, Crawford talked about keeping the sense of mission, especially after today.  The talk also made sense because the session highlighted the international partnerships we had.  Crawford talked about the nature of our calling (Matt. 16:13-19), our commission (Matt. 9:35-38), and our command (Matt. 28:18:20).  Since the day was so long, I went to sleep afterwards.  Yeah I’m getting old.

Yesterday, we heard from Tom, talking about what keeps us from growing in our faith, and becoming fused.  The three ways that he ways that kept us from growing in our faith had to do with three things, Our Plan, our pride, and our past.  It was interesting on what Tom was getting at.  Especially how our past seems to haunt us, and I can see why.  We tend to revert to the sins that we had before we knew Christ.  After his talk, the emcee, Ben, talked about having secret sins, and gave some time for people to pray and discuss those sins. 

The final night of TCX was about surrender.  I came into the ballroom to different scenes shown on the screens.  They were about how Jesus lived a whole life of surrender from the time he was born to the time he died.  I was told to think about those pictures and think about the impact.  Then Candice spoke again.  She used the practice of Lectio Divina (Divine Reading) to unpack pertinent verses about Jesus’ life on Earth.  And she made us think, on where would we be in these verses.  From His birth to when He was in Gethsemane praying to God before Jesus was arrested by the Romans.  It was a humbling experience for sure. Also that night, we were to make a decision, if you wanted to.  It was if you would pledge to spend one year after graduation to serve missionally.  After prayerfully considering this, I decided to do this.  However, I added something to mine these two words, “or more”.  I don’t know what God has in store in my life and I am happy for that.  I want to live out a life of mission, to develop a servant heart.  In order to radically love Christ with everything we have, we must OBEY what God told us to do.

So what did I learn

• I need to be vulnerable to other people, so I can be open to people what I am dealing with spiritually.  
• I need need NEED consistency in my life, especially in my daily walk.  And lastly
• I need to pray in a fervent and passionate manner.  God likes to be bothered (Isaiah 62:6-7).

I am already excited to go back next year, it will be cool to see this post almost a year from now and see how I have changed.  

So I decided to do a Christmas Card in blog form.  Because I don’t want to bother sending out all of the envelopes, especially if you don’t want to read this.  Anyways, you can’t have a Christmas Card without a picture, so this basically summed up my year

As you know, I spent this summer in North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina on a Cru Summer Project.  Over the course of 10 weeks, I was poured in and encouraged so much.  If anyone is thinking about going, I will passionately say DO IT!  It was a great experience and I wish I could have some of that fellowship back.

This fall, I am rooming with my friend Bobby.  It is interesting how we click, but I am more than glad that he’s my roommate.  It is a learning experience, but it’s also good seeing where he’s at.  For example, I wanted to start a prayer group on campus.  Not only that he agreed that such a thing was needed, but he and a friend of ours actually ran away with it, and I thank them for that because of how well I do things (coughsarcasmcough).

I am hopeful to see what 2012 brings, I am applying for the Social Work program so I am nervous, but I really hope I can do this.

Thank you and DFTBA!

Do you want to go on a Summer Project?  Do want to impact the world for Christ?  Do you need to gain experience to bring back to your campus?  Well I can help point you in the right direction.  As someone who went on a Summer Project, I have seen what happens on a daily basis.

This is what happens on a given week on Project.  On Project, you need a job.  This is what you do during the day (Except Sunday and one other day because of discipleship).  However, this is what happens during the week.  On Monday, you have Bible Study with your staff discipler.  We studied the Gospel of Mark, but of course it changes with the Project.  Tuesdays we head out to either the beach or this place called Barefoot Landing to go sharing.  If you are reading this and the fact that sharing the Gospel scares you, don’t be scared.  You will get used to it.  On Wednesday, we have reflection night, otherwise known as Date Night with Jesus.  You spend about three hours reading the Bible or doing other things.  On Thursday, we would have our weekly meeting which would be like any other Cru meeting at school.  We will have worship, games, announcements and a speaker who will give a talk.  Friday is your free night to do things on your own, or with groups.  Some things that we would do is go out somewhere, or hang out on Project property.  On Saturday, we would have a project social.  We would eat, and do something as a Project.  We did things like a scavenger hunt, a movie night, and a softball game against the staff.  And on Sunday we would have Sunday school where we were equipped, and we went to Church, and had a meeting that night.

So if you are reading this and you have not been on a Summer Project, you might be a little intimidated.  Let me tell you, it was a little intimidating having to meet 97 people I have never met in person (outside of Facebook).  But once you arrive on Project property, everyone welcomes you like family.  I guarantee you will have one of the best summers you have had.  You get poured so much spiritually that by the end of the summer, you may seem exhausted spiritually, but  you can take what you learned back to your campus and initiate these changes.  Also you get to be someone to persuade people to go on future projects.  

So I think you are wondering about questions about how I can pay for it or if you’re wondering what project to apply for, you can go to www.gosummerproject.com for those questions.  I hope this helps for anyone who are thinking on going on a summer project in the future.

I love music.  I mean, if there was no music in the world, where would we be?  Here are some bands that I’m liking especially now.

The Waiting Kind- I first learned about this when the band followed me on Twitter (shameless plug: I’m at keithgraham91).  Out of curiosity, I checked them out on Spotify, and what I heard was so awesome.  I immediately followed them back.  I continue to listen them now.

The Waiting Kind is a indie Christian band from Boise who wants to see everyone be touched by by their music, no matter where you are at spiritually (http://www.facebook.com/thewaitingkind?sk=info).  This is one of their songs that I first listened to by them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYHjFCxzXOc

Deas Vail- This band I only discovered today, and this band is awesome.  The band is translated to God’s Humble Servant in a combination of Latin and French.  But any language the band is named, it is a pleasant name regardless.  The sound reminds me in a way of Relient K.

I first learned about this through a Youtuber named Naveregnide, who usually talked about the band, or would show a poster of the band in his vlogs.  But curiosity was how I got into them.  This was one of the songs that I listened to because of how resonating it was to me.  So here’s that song…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-3_dAVJIrQ

Gungor- Okay, I love this band anyways, but I have a renewed love since I downloaded their new album “Ghosts Upon The Earth”.  I knew about Michael Gungor for several years, but I never knew that he was in or he formed a band until my church at school played “Beautiful Things” in worship.  Because I am pretty sure you are familiar with this band, I will post a song from their newest album.  If you are not familiar with the band, I recommend you listening to them because they are an awesome group of people making God known.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vHFsXOdTt0

These are just a few of the bands I am interested in right now.  I am glad these people are giving God the glory by making music that people can listen to, no matter what situation they are in.

One thing that I definitely wanted to see after leaving project was a prayer group that would earnestly pray for the world and for the campus.  I think I make the first step tonight.  What happened was my roommate had a prayer meeting tonight.  It made me wonder that we can make a prayer group, with a few times to accommodate the busy lives of students.  This is a “sketch” of what could happen with this project is the following.

1. To create prayer that would be glorifying to God, and to pray for all things, including revival and awakening for this campus and for the world.
2. To create worship and prayer opportunities outside Cru to praise God.
3. Creating 24/7 prayer, because God called us to be watchmen all day and night so we can pray to Him and to keep bothering Him until God hears us (Isaiah 62:6-7).

So these things are what I need to get this thing off the ground. I need people to support, pray, and join me to help start this project.  There is no way I can do this alone.  I want to start this group tentatively next semester, Lord willing.  So the more people that can help me and support me planning this, the better.  One last thing, I thought of a working name for this and the best name I thought of was mission:prayer.  So let me know if you can help me and of course, prayers are always needed.  Thanks everyone!

Hey y’all, I got back from Alexandria, MN for Fall Getaway.  Because I was on the Special Events/Operations team for Cru, My team planned the weekend with a staff member.  It was cool seeing how this weekend played out.  Our main Speaker, Bob Francis spent 30 years as a staff member with Cru nationwide, until about 4 years ago when he is now working at the headquarters in Orlando.  It is cool hearing insight from someone who has spent that much time on staff.  

The first night Bob talked the idea of faith and how Abraham stayed faithful to God even if it meant almost sacrificing Issac, his son (which alludes to the Gospel in Genesis 22).  In a way, it was great hearing the fact that while Abraham lived, the Gospel was being stressed.  Saturday morning, Bob gave had to do with hope and eternal perspective.  And that night he talked about love being the core motivation to live out our lives.  Sunday morning, Bob tied all three talks together after answering questions from the students.

What I personally got from the weekend is that I need to be a better steward with the life God has given me.  It is easy to find other ways through my effort, but ultimately, I need to give it to God.  I need to give up my time and my finances.  I need to be smarter with these things and not squander it on lifeless living.